The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
