If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
