I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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