Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
