i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
