Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
