This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
