I just pynch a tree in the face
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
