i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
