Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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