I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
