Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
