I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
