i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
