I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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