Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
