Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
