That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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