Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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