I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
