At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
