That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
