I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
