we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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