Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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