So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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