I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
