Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
