Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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