Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
