Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
