It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
