u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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