I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
