I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
