I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
