It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
