Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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