I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
