I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
