so let's talk penis.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
