I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
