Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
