After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
