well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
