just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
