Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
