i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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