there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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