yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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