Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
whose parrot is this?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
