Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
